Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Which is worse for you, email or marijuana?

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - The health authorities are really turning around.

First, several years ago, they said it was ok - no, make that ADVISABLE - to drink one or two glasses of red wine with dinner. It aids digestion, calms the nerves, provides certain vitamins and minerals... you get the idea.

So now, I buy $2 Charles Krug Merlot by the case from Trader Joe's just down the street. Two-buck Chuck is the street name.

Then, about a week ago, the CDC came out with a report that being a little overweight not only isn't really bad, it might be good. It seems slightly overweight people live longer than their skinner contemporaries.

Score one for Pepperidge Farm cookies! Bring on the apple pie and ice cream.

But today was the capper. Today blew away those two announcements.

A new study shows that using email a lot scrambles your brain just as much as smoking a joint. That's right, keep emailing and you will start talking like Cheech and Chong, eventually. ("Dave's not here, man...")

So if the study is true, well, that would explain why every night about this time (after answering a dozen emails or so) I get a terrible case of the munchies.

But now, armed with this knowledge, I can slam an extra glass of wine, wolf down an extra portion of pie and either email, or go light up in the back yard and not feel guilty.

Confused maybe, but not guilty.

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