MARATHON, Greece - When the messenger Pheidippides ran from the plains of Marathon to Athens to announce a Greek victory over the Persian army, legend has it he shouted 'Rejoice! We conquer!' and then dropped dead on the spot. (Can we hope the same for a contemporary messenger - the Fox News Network?)
After running along the banks of the American River today, taking 41 minutes and 21 seconds to cover a distance I WILL NOT reveal, I wasn't sure if I was going to drop dead, but I did stand at the top of the levee behind my condo when I got home and shouted: REJOICE CITIZENS! WE CONQUER!
My neighbors all know I'm around the bend, so they just smiled at me from their decks and didn't even ask what-in-the-hell I was screaming about.
They know better and I've only lived here six months.
What finally got me motivated was the scale right by my bed - a practiced liar. No matter how many vegetables I eat in place of potatoes, hamburgers, cookies and all the wonderful foods I love to consume regularly, it would barely budge after 10 days of enough leafy green stuff to make me begin to sprout.
That called for the Fat Boy Program.
So every other day, and eventually every day, I will tie on the track shoes and walk/run (a helluva a lot more walk than run today, you probably guessed) until I can get the weight shifting down -- and I can get back into my normal clothes. (The loose fitting swim shorts of Mexico cover a lot of sins.)
And, unfortunately, it also means that I have to stick with the veggies, or the whole plan goes to hell quickly.
REJOICE! AND NOW EAT MORE BROCOLLI.
Jaysus.
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